Questions I am often asked:
- What is a sensual massage?
- Is sensual massage similar to tantric massage?
- Is it erotic? Is it sexual?
- Is it a proper massage?
- Will it be good for me?
- Where can I get the best erotic massage in London?
A sensual massage, like a tantric massage, is given with a genuine sense of care and intimacy – involving relaxation, pleasure and arousal of the body. Both types of massage have physical and emotional benefits. The main difference between a sensual massage and a tantric massage is that in the latter spiritual aspects are usually included – such as ritual, sacred space and sublimation of the sexual energy for spiritual upliftment. A sensual massage, on the other hand, follows a more humanistic process – focused on giving the receiver an authentic full body therapeutic massage that combines traditional massage strokes with intentional arousing techniques. These are aimed at slowly relaxing and simultaneously arousing the receiver. Other than occasional instructions the massage is usually given in silence but natural sounds of arousal are encouraged.
All sensual masseurs will have their own personal interpretation of what a sensual massage should include. Generally, it should be founded upon a high-quality therapeutic massage that can be given firmly to work the muscles or gently to promote relaxation or a combination of both. It should be intentionally arousing and include light touch with fingers and nails all over the body including the hands, feet and head as well as the genitals and bottom. A good sensual masseur should be able to build the arousal slowly throughout the whole treatment, seducing the body and thus causing the receiver’s mind to relax and focus solely on the touch.
Why do we love to be touched?
Without a shadow of a doubt, receiving intimate sensual touch is one of the most pleasant sensations that a person can experience. The sense of touch is a vital part of the human condition and is arguably one of our earliest forms of communication. It is accepted that both our physiology and neurology are specifically designed to facilitate it and when a person is touched it also has a profound effect on our psychology. A slap given with aggression can hurt and indicate anger, causing us to feel fear or anger in return. A firm hand on the shoulder or back will give us a feeling of friendship or support. Intimate, caring touch, particularly when combined with stimulating arousal, can create a feeling of trust and closeness, a factor that is essential in the bonding of human relationships and thus the continuation of the species.
In the beginning …
From our earliest Homo Sapiens ancestors who lived 250,000 years ago to probably as recent as 5000 years ago, tactile intimate touch between humans would almost certainly have been offered and received unconditionally. It would be given without cultural, religious or social controls and probably not seen solely as sexual communication but also as a system to establish both mixed and same-sex cooperation. It would have stimulated group security and collaboration, ensuring – in times of danger and stress – the support between one human and another. It would have helped determine hierarchy, established trusting relationships, promoted teamwork and loving bonds.
Not much has changed in our biology since those early times, and for most of us, the pleasure and desire to be touched by another is still very much within us. When we are touched the skin receptors pass the response information through to the central nervous system which in turn influences the autonomic nervous system. The autonomic nervous system connects to the deepest and most ancient part of our brain known as the Stem or Reptilian brain. This ancient part of the brain can be traced back to over 200 million years of mammal evolution. It is concerned with our most basic primary needs such as survival, physical maintenance, hoarding, dominance, preening and mating and from these basic urges activate the emotions of love, hate, fear, lust, and contentment.
In early man, the distinction of intimate behaviour being appropriate or inappropriate would not have existed; there would have been no social, cultural or religious rules controlling our natural desires and need for intimate touch. Our behaviour would be instinctual: when hungry, we looked for food; when under threat, we fought or ran; and when in need of a sense of belonging, we would have sought intimacy from other humans. There is no greater affirmation of an individual’s acceptance than to touch and be touched intimately, to care and be cared for, without condition, expectation or obligation.
Sensual massage is an ancient natural medicine for today’s stressful times
By providing a person with a non-judgmental, honest, open environment where it is not only OK to feel arousal but appropriate, the sensual massage is probably one of the most fulfilling experiences a person can have, enabling both the body and mind to relax in a way that regular massage does not. By reducing tension and stress or an anxiety of the body, the mind regains its calm. As the body becomes more sensually aroused the sensory messages transmitting from the skin and erogenous areas reaffirm to the mind that we are safe. Hormones such as oxytocin, progesterone and testosterone are released, causing our muscles to relax; the mind becomes still, and for a few hours we can literally exist in the ‘moment’.
Who can benefit from having a sensual massage?
Everyone, of course, but since we are all individuals with unique life experiences and lifestyles, the benefits can vary from person to person. For many the massage can be a glorious discovery of escapism; for others it can be a place to release the tension of a hectic life; for some it can be about exploration of the self, one’s sensuality and sexuality. It can also be very beneficial for those experiencing sexual anxieties and performance issues.
In men, particularly, it can simply be about male to male bonding or it can help with overcoming erectile issues, premature ejaculation, sexuality exploration, loss of libido or fear of intimacy. For women, the massage can be an opportunity to have their body physically stimulated and pleasured without feeling self-conscious, judged or expected to perform in a particular way sexually. For couples, it is a wonderful way to reignite the sexual spark by learning new skills to practise on one another. The treatment can be given as a gift by one partner to the other to let them experience another person’s touch without this threatening the relationship.
For whoever is receiving the massage, it can be an experience that is both profound and revolutionary. We live in a time when there is so much controlled, and much is expected of us. By having a sensual massage, we return to our primal instincts and desires.
Sensual massage is ultimately about caring for oneself through another person’s energy and physical skills. Arousal and stimulation is an inevitable part of the massage, but orgasm is optional; it can also be an important part of the process since, following the orgasm, feelings of relaxation and well-being can be even more profound.
How can I identify a good sensual massage therapist?
The therapist should be professional in style and approach, acting in integrity and thus inspiring trust in the client. The treatment area should be warm, clean, comfortable and welcoming. The therapist should take the time to explain the process of the massage and answer any questions that the client may have. The massage should include both therapeutic massage of the whole body as well as intimate, sensual, arousing massage of the erogenous and genital areas. The massage should be caring and meaningful with the therapist inspiring a sense of genuine ‘love’ for what they do and to whom they do it for. The therapist should be able to work intuitively, understanding the client’s specific needs but at the same time making their own personal physical boundaries clear.
Further details of treatment options can be found via the links below: