- Chilli pepper & massage oil
- A grumpy invant and a crowded Ryanair flight:
- An orgasm and a sneeze attack
- The London Underground and 35-degree temperatures.
- And, dare I say it, energetic sex and a heatwave.
Now, before you throw your ice cubes at me, hear me out.
As someone who has spent over twenty years helping people explore intimacy, pleasure, touch and connection, I have noticed that when the temperature rises, many people’s enthusiasm for vigorous bedroom athletics mysteriously evaporates faster than a puddle on a Chelsea pavement. Suddenly, the idea of tangled limbs, enthusiastic thrusting and trying to remember where your partner ends and your perspiration begins loses some of its appeal. Enter the hero of the summer months: the sensual massage.
Unlike sex, sensual massage was practically designed for hot weather. For a start, there is no performance pressure. Nobody is trying to break any Olympic records.
There is no expectation to be athletic, coordinated or capable of breathing normally while stuck to another human being like two slices of melted cheese. Instead, sensual massage invites you to slow down. Very slow down. The beauty of sensual massage is that it turns the heatwave itself into part of the experience.
A lightly cooled room, fresh cotton sheets, scented oils kept in the fridge and a gentle fan can transform a sweltering evening into something deliciously relaxing.
Compare that with trying to have energetic sex when the bedroom feels like the inside of an air fryer. One of the most common comments I hear from women after a sensual massage is: “It’s all about me, and I don’t have to do anything.” During a heatwave, that statement becomes even more appealing.
You can simply lie back, relax and enjoy being touched without having to think about positions, stamina, whether the neighbours can hear you, or why your mascara now resembles something from a horror film.
Men benefit too. Many men secretly spend far too much time worrying about performance. A sensual massage removes that pressure completely. Instead of focusing on achieving an outcome, the focus becomes sensation, connection and enjoyment.
It’s the difference between running a marathon and floating on a lilo. Both involve water eventually, but one is considerably less effort. Couples often tell me that a sensual massage creates a different kind of intimacy.
Because everything slows down, there is more eye contact, more laughter, more communication and often more anticipation. And anticipation, as any good chef will tell you, is often more delicious than the meal itself. A sensual massage also has another advantage during a heatwave: strategic distancing. You can remain connected without being wrapped around each other like a pair of overheated pythons. Touch can be gentle, deliberate and unhurried rather than resembling a wrestling match in a greenhouse.
So if Britain is facing another week of tropical temperatures, perhaps it’s time to retire the Olympic bedroom events and embrace something a little cooler. Light the candles.
- Turn on the fan.
- Keep massage oil in the fridge for a short time.
- Use cool flannels on the neck, wrists or feet.
- Ice cubes can be playful when used carefully on non-sensitive areas such as shoulders, back or thighs.
And remember that when the thermometer hits 35 degrees, the sexiest thing you can say to your partner might not be “Come to bed.” It might be: “Lie down and let me massage you.”
It will be HOT, but in a passionate climatical way
