Lingerie model who couldn’t orgasm for YEARS reveals how lovers told her she was ‘too difficult to please’ before she finally sought counselling to conquer ’embarrassing’ condition
June 8th 2018
Article published in the Mail on Line in the Female section
Go to the original article [here]
- Amy Gledhill, from Leicester, has struggled to climax for almost ten years
- The 26-year-old model suffers from a condition called situational anorgasmia
- Told how past lovers would complain that she was ‘too difficult to please’
- She recently sought the help of a sex and relationships mentor for condition
A lingerie model who was unable to climax during sex for almost ten years has revealed how past lovers told her she was ‘too difficult to please’.
Amy Gledhill, from Leicester, has suffered from situational anorgasmia – meaning she can’t orgasm in certain circumstances – since she first became sexually active.
The 26-year-old, who works in construction but also works as a burlesque artist, has spent years feeling ashamed of her condition, at one point so self-conscious she would hide under the sheets during sex.
Despite now being in a happy relationship with a long-term partner, Amy still regularly struggles to climax.
Amy, who has been in a relationship with Mike Rollason (pictured) for over a year, said: ‘My current relationship has been so much more supportive, he has spent more time on me finding out what I like and what turns me on’
In a last-ditch attempt to treat the condition, Amy recently underwent psychosensual treatment with relationships and sex mentor Colin Richards to help identify the causes of her problem.
She told MailOnline: ‘Being so open about sex and relationships, people are often surprised that I have situational anorgasmia but I don’t think they put this and the burlesque together.’
Recalling the first time she became aware of the condition aged 17, Amy explained: ‘I was never able to orgasm during all forms of sex or masturbating in front of or with partners.
‘It wasn’t a sudden realisation, but over a period of time I became aware I wasn’t climaxing unless I was on my own.
The 26-year-old works in construction but has also worked as a burlesque artist (pictured here in costume), and has spent years feeling ashamed of the condition
‘You read [magazines] and hear all the different ways to give and receive pleasure, and see multiple orgasms in porn, and you assume every woman is capable of such easy pleasure.’
Amy spent many years thinking there was ‘something wrong’ with her as she began feeling increasingly self-conscious during sex and ‘under pressure to perform’.
She said: ‘In the past, it has been commented that I’m “difficult” to please. That breaks down the bond you’d ideally like to have with a partner and makes it seem very one-sided.
‘As relationships have gone on and I’ve become more comfortable with partners, I have been able to relax more and found a way of masturbating with them to achieve orgasm during a sexual encounter.
‘I was still always aware that they felt disappointed that they had not been able to make me orgasm directly or through penetrative sex.
Difficult: Amy spent many years thinking there was ‘something wrong’ with her as she began feeling increasingly self-conscious during sex and ‘under pressure to perform’
In a bid to tackle the condition, Amy took a three-hour treatment which combined counselling and intimate body work – going over her childhood, teen years and relationships
‘Over time I began to blame myself less and less and realised it was a lack of constructive communication.’
Amy, who has been in a relationship with Mike Rollason for over a year, added: ‘My current relationship has been so much more supportive, he has spent more time on me finding out what I like and what turns me on.
‘We communicate so much more and a genuine connection also helps as well as my own experience over time.’
Earlier this year, Amy sought the help of Colin Richards, founder of Intimacy Matters, for her condition.
She took part in a workshop as a ‘volunteer massage receiver’ which helped abolish her body confidence and shyness issues.
Amy on stage. She said: ‘Being so open about sex and relationships, people are often surprised that I have situational anorgasmia but I don’t think they put this and the burlesque together’
As well as her part-time burlesque career, Amy recently took part in a workshop as a ‘volunteer massage receiver’ which helped abolish her body confidence and shyness issues
Despite her flamboyant on-stage persona, Amy says her condition has previously left her so self-conscious she would hide under the sheets during sex
Amy also took a three-hour psychosensual treatment which combined counselling and intimate body work – going over her childhood, teen years and relationships.
She explained: ‘We discussed a few different things that may have affected me.
‘We came to a conclusion that I struggle to express myself, especially vocally, often feeling like what I had to say was not worth people’s time or that I was not interesting to talk to.’
Amy added: ‘My sexual openness and personal guidance from Colin has helped me achieve a better personal sexual understanding.
‘Orgasms during sex with my partner that I never thought I would experience, and a want to help other women having the same or similar issues, [are] why I set up my business, Sensual Touch Massage.
‘I now don’t feel like I’m disappointing my partner or myself even when I don’t orgasm, we both just enjoy sex and don’t fixate on the ‘goal’, this is when it most often actually does happen.’
What is situational anorgasmia?
‘Situational anorgasmia is when orgasm can only be reached in certain circumstances,’ says Colin Richards of intimacymatters.co.uk.
‘For example when on one’s own or after drinking alcohol or with a stranger rather than a loving partner.
Colin Richards is a sex and relationships mentor based in London