How to Give and Receive Deeply Pleasurable Oral Sex

As a sexologist and intimacy coach at Intimacy Matters in London, I’m often asked about the secrets to truly satisfying oral stimulation—for both men and women. Too often, oral sex is treated as a quick prelude to penetration rather than a rich and fulfilling form of intimacy in its own right. But when given the time, attention, and understanding it deserves, oral sex can become one of the most deeply connecting and erotically powerful experiences partners can share.

Get the best oral stimulation and sensual massage training London at Intimacy Matters

Recent media coverage from has highlighted this shift in how we view oral pleasure: no longer as an optional extra, but as an essential element of sexual wellness and intimacy. I couldn’t agree more.

Oral Pleasure for Women: Building Anticipation and Trust

When giving cunnilingus, slow build-up and patience are key. Many men (and women) rush straight to the clitoris, when in fact, anticipation is half the pleasure.

In my practice, I teach men to:

  • Start wide, not narrow: Gently kiss and lick the inner thighs, hips, and pubic mound before approaching the clitoris. This builds both blood flow and desire.

  • Keep rhythm consistent: Once you find a movement she responds to, stay with it—slight variations in speed and pressure can heighten excitement without breaking the flow.

  • Combine mouth and hands: A tongue exploring the clitoral hood while fingers gently press the G‑spot can create a powerful dual sensation.

  • Communicate: Soft words like “I love how you’re responding” or asking “Do you like this?” reassure her that her pleasure matters.

Remember: good oral sex is not about tricks—it’s about attentiveness.

Oral Pleasure for Men: Sensitivity Beyond the Obvious

With fellatio, many women worry about technique, but the real secret is enthusiasm and presence. Men can feel when their partner is engaged and enjoying giving—that alone can heighten arousal.

Techniques I encourage women to explore during our Massage My Man training include:

  • The soft‑mouth approach: Relax your lips and jaw, using gentle suction while your tongue glides along the head.

  • Hand + mouth combination: Stroke the shaft with a lubricated hand while focusing oral attention on the glans. This not only prevents jaw fatigue but creates fuller stimulation.

  • Varying rhythm: Switch between slow, teasing licks and deeper, more enveloping strokes. This keeps excitement building rather than plateauing.

  • Playful integration of sex toys: A vibrating cock ring or stroker can add surprise and intensity, especially during edging.

  • 27 ways to give a Blow job – Read more

For many men, this is not just about physical release but the psychological pleasure of feeling fully accepted and desired.

Shared Keys to Exceptional Oral Stimulation

Whether you’re giving or receiving, a few universal truths transform oral into a deeply fulfilling act:

  • Consent and communication – Always ensure both partners feel safe and enthusiastic.

  • Anticipation – Don’t rush to the genitals; explore the whole body first.

  • Mutual touch – Allow your partner to stroke or hold you while you give, creating connection.

  • Emotional presence – Eye contact, affirming words, and even playful dirty talk signal authenticity and care.

Why This Matters More Than Ever

Oral stimulation is not simply foreplay—it’s core‑play. It nurtures body and mind, blending the erotic with the affectionate. In my work, I see how couples who invest in oral pleasure often report deeper intimacy, better communication, and more satisfying sex lives.

At Intimacy Matters, we integrate these skills into training sessions like Massage My Man and Massage My Woman as well as the male to male and female to female Touch & Turn On & Sensual Sisters Trainings and also the bespoke Enhanced Foreplay sessions for couples. My goal is always the same: to help partners move beyond mechanics into true erotic artistry, where all oral stimulation becomes an act of love, approval, and playful exploration. Read about the courses

Because when oral is given with patience, presence, and genuine enjoyment, it’s not just sex—it’s intimacy at its most profound.

oral stimulation and sensual massage training London