Erotic Massage For Women
Sensual Massage is the 4th Option for Women
Traditionally, erotic arousal can be experienced in three ways:
Option 1 – Sex with a partner
- Positive attributes: intimate, trusting, caring, loving.
- Negative attributes: unskilled, predictable and has become unfulfilling
Option 2 – Sex with a stranger (the one-night stand)
- Positive attributes: exciting, spontaneous, non-emotional and without commitment.
- Negative attributes: health and pregnancy risk, uncertain security, risk of interfering with regular life.
Option 3 – Masturbation
- Positive attributes: I am relaxed, it is private, and I know what I like.
- Negative attributes: Routine, does not reach all the parts I want reached, no sense of being desired by the other person.
The positive attributes of erotic massage for women
Over the past twenty years working as a Sex & Relationship Engineer, I have had the privilege of supporting hundreds of women in exploring and improving the psychological, emotional, and physiological aspects of their intimate lives. During this time, I have delivered more than 6,000 hours of guided sensual massage to women of all ages, cultural backgrounds, body types, and relationship situations.
No two women arrive for a session with the same story. Some are confidently and happily single, enjoying their independence but wishing to remain connected to their sensual selves. Others are single but would prefer not to be, and are seeking a way to maintain a positive, embodied relationship with their sexuality while they navigate the dating world. Many are in loving partnerships where emotional connection is strong, yet the sexual dynamic has become routine, infrequent, or unsatisfying. There are also women in otherwise healthy relationships who simply want more — more variety, more confidence, more pleasure, and a deeper understanding of their own arousal.
A number of clients come from cultural or personal backgrounds where sensual expression has been restricted or discouraged, leaving them curious but cautious. Some describe themselves as inexperienced or unsure of how their bodies respond. Others are working gently to rebuild trust in their bodies after difficult or negative past experiences. Many seek support with orgasmic confidence, body acceptance, or the ability to relax sufficiently to receive pleasure without self-consciousness.
What unites them is not a single problem, but a shared intention: a desire to experience a level of satisfaction, connection, and self-acceptance that feels absent from their current lives. The sessions are therefore structured not around performance or expectation, but around creating a calm, respectful environment where each woman can slow down, feel attended to, and reconnect with her own sensory awareness.
Through consistent, mindful touch and clear communication, women often report feeling more comfortable in their bodies, more able to recognise and express their needs, and more confident in intimate situations — whether alone or with a partner. The experience can help shift focus away from goal-oriented sexuality toward a more exploratory and responsive model, where pleasure develops naturally from relaxation, trust, and presence.
In this way, the work is not simply about physical sensation, but about restoring a sense of agency, choice, and embodiment. Each appointment becomes a space in which a woman can be the focus of care and attention, free from judgment, and able to experience her sensuality as something that belongs to her — not something defined by expectations, comparison, or pressure.
Why erotic massage for women, the 4th Option?
Taking a sensual massage offers many of the positive qualities associated with learning, giving, and sharing touch, while removing the pressures that can sometimes accompany partnered intimacy. The experience is shaped entirely around the needs and intentions of the woman receiving it. For some, it is a gentle, caring space in which to relax, feel held in attention, and reconnect with their bodies. For others, it can feel exploratory and enlivening — an opportunity to experience new levels of sensation and self-awareness in a setting that remains grounded, respectful, and professionally guided.
What remains constant is that the focus is always on the receiver’s well-being and comfort. The pace, depth of touch, and level of sensual engagement are agreed in advance and can be adjusted at any time, ensuring that the woman remains in control of her experience. This clarity of structure often allows the mind to settle and the body to respond more naturally, free from the expectations that can arise in a relationship dynamic.
The environment is discreet and confidential, creating a sense of safety that encourages openness without emotional obligation. Many women find this particularly valuable when they are exploring new aspects of their sensuality, rebuilding confidence, or simply allowing themselves to experience pleasure without feeling that they must give something in return.
Within this framework, curiosity can be approached calmly and without judgement. Sensations can be noticed rather than chased, and pleasure can develop at its own pace. This often leads to a deeper sense of embodiment, where a woman feels more present in her body and more accepting of its responses. The result is not only physical relaxation but also an increased sense of self-knowledge and personal agency in intimate contexts.
In alignment with the earlier principles, the massage becomes a supportive space for rediscovering desire, enhancing body confidence, and cultivating a more positive relationship with sensuality. It allows a woman to experience herself as worthy of focused attention and care, while developing an internal reference for what feels pleasurable, comfortable, and authentic to her.
Erotic massage for women – Massage Types
What are the differences?
Think of the differences in this way:
The Intimacy, Is the taster menu The Focus, Is the two course meal The Superior, is five three course meal The Absolute, is the Smorgasbord Buffet of many courses and flavours
The ancients understood
Sensual and erotic massage has been around for thousands of years and for much of that time has been seen as healthy, pleasurable and quite normal. From the Ancient Greeks to India and then the Romans, naked massage was the norm. It all changed when the newer religions appeared, and arousal of any sort came to be regarded as sexual, ‘carnal’, and only to be experienced conditionally within a relationship and for reproductive purposes. Anything else was seen and immoral.
However, in the last 30 years, sensual massage has become popular again, initially by men who seek to receive erotic arousal and caring intimate attention as a way to de-stress as well as enjoy sensual pleasures.
Not just a male thing
But if society is to really accept sensual massage as something meaningful, relevant and therapeutic and healthy, it will be women who legitimise this as a professionally recognised treatment, the powerful therapy that it is.
Reasons female clients have given for wanting to enjoy erotic massage for women
- I enjoy a regular massage to have my muscles worked professionally, but I also want to experience intimate touch so that I can connect with the deeper, primal, sensual part of myself.
- I want to experience a sensual massage in ’50 Shades of Grey’ manner where the masseur is in complete control, and I can just lie back and enjoy his authority with the knowledge that I am ultimately in control of all that takes place.(Note: This type of sensual massage does not include any BDSM or role play but incorporates assertive massage and some physical body lifting – only in the case of clients with slim to average physiques – as well as strong arousal techniques.)
- I like to enjoy the firm yet tender touch of a man without the need to perform or give back sexually.
- I enjoy receiving arousal and ultimately orgasm through gentle, prolonged, intimate touch rather than penetrative intercourse.
- I have a loss of libido.
- I have a fear of intimacy and am embarrassed about my body but still want to enjoy sensual arousal.
- I experience painful intercourse and orgasmic dysfunction.
- I am insecure and sexually inexperienced, and want to learn more about my sexuality as well as how to give excellent sensual arousal to my partners.
- I am a single woman who is happy to not be in a relationship, and although my sex life is good, I miss the intimacy and tender touch that a relationship brings.
- I believe that it is right to be able to experience arousal and orgasm without commitment and the responsibilities of a relationship.
- I want to explore orgasm, as I have heard that there are multiple ways a female can achieve this.
- I am in a marriage/partnership where most else is good, but the sex and intimacy have declined, and I need to receive intimate attention within a safe, professional, therapeutic environment that is discreet and private, that will not challenge my current situation.
Where can I find a sensual massage near me?
Intimacy Matters is located in central London. Increasingly, more practitioners are based outside London; however, if you are considering a sensual massage, do your research and look for these aspects. Colin runs Professional Training Courses, so he can let you know of students he has trained who may be available to see you outside of London.
- Do they have a well put together web site
- Does the website include images of the masseur
- Do they have reviews from past clients
- Do they clearly explain the erotic content in the massage
- Do they clearly explain consent
- Do they see the client at their own premises
- Do they give the massage on a proper massage bed and not a regular bed
Growth & popularity of sensual massage
It is widely accepted that men seek sex as a means to satisfy sexual drive, but often it is the physical intimacy that comes with the sex that they are seeking just as much. If in a non-sexual relationship or a busy life that does not allow them to have a relationship, a man will seek out contact with another human being; in the past, this would have been found by visiting a brothel or seeing a prostitute or escort. However, in the late 1980s, tantric massage slipped oilily onto the westerner’s menu; initially lauded by Sting of the pop group, The Police, it brought to notice the possibility that there could be a legitimate way to experience erotic arousal that was not smutty or indulgent but could be seen as a spiritual experience. As the word ‘tantric’ crept further into the public psyche, so men who previously had avoided the impersonal environment of sexual services began to explore the caring, sensual touch of a tantric masseur.
Then, around 2005, and emerging from the tantric world came masseurs like myself who, although supportive of the tantric philosophy, found it did not sit comfortably as a description of how we wanted to present our version of an intimate arousing massage. Having a humanistic approach, sensual massage gives the option of receiving an intimate massage that is based on traditional massage but also encourages arousal and orgasm. It does not offer any spiritual guidance nor include any ceremony. The treatment focuses more on the body’s natural desire for intimate touch and arousal; it gives the receiver an all-round experience that is relaxing and therapeutic but also stimulating and erotic.
It is my hope that within the next ten years, sensual massage will be taken out of the association as a sexual service but be accepted as a legitimate health treatment that is relevant to everyone. A treatment that relaxes our body, improves our sense of well-being, and often improves our relationships and sexual performance with partners and loved ones.
Most people don’t know this – A one-to-one sexual service IS LEGAL in the UK
Under the sexual offences act on 2003 in the UK, the exchange of sexual services for money is legal, but a number of activities, including soliciting in a public place, kerb crawling, owning or managing a brothel, pimping and pandering, are
However, I believe that if sensual massage is to be fully accepted, it will be women who change these perceptions because women understand that if their bodies are not sexually satisfied, they can be negatively affected – physiologically, emotionally and even in their general health and well-being.
Victorian hysteria
In Victorian times, thousands of women were diagnosed with a mental disorder known as ‘hysteria’. One of the most common diagnoses of hysteria was for women to have an ‘overt desire or need for sexual arousal’. The treatment for this ‘ghastly mental disorder’ was either masturbation by hand from a doctor to remove the mental psychosis or – much worse – the removal of the woman’s ovaries.
Thankfully, attitudes have changed, and Western society, in particular, does not view female sexuality in this way anymore. However, although no longer persecuted for being sexual, women are still controlled and judged in their sexual behaviour. A man being regularly sexually active is often seen as virile or a stud, while a woman behaving the same would be seen as ‘loose’ or a slut.
No justification required – erotic massage for women is becoming very popular
Having a sensual massage with a professional masseur gives a woman a place where she can be private, not judged, and be the centre of attention. A place where she can focus on herself and be able to explore her sexuality in whatever way she likes, without feeling she has to give in return. A place to overcome sexual frustration, explore new sensations, reduce sexual anxieties or simply experience total relaxation by being unconditionally desired and pampered by a professional.
Receiving a sensual massage with vaginal stimulation is becoming increasingly popular for its purported benefits. Vaginal massage is said to improve vaginal sensitivity, alleviate tension in the vaginal walls, and enhance a woman’s sex life.
There are a number of reasons for seeking a vaginal massage. Whether it’s to explore your sexuality or recover from physical trauma, vaginal massage can do the following things:
- An erotic massage for women stimulates blood flow and increases circulation, which is beneficial if you experience numbness or pain in the area during sex.
- Vaginal massage is known to offer some relief from the physical pain associated with childbirth.
- Some use vaginal massage as a treatment therapy after experiencing sexual violence or trauma.
- In a clinical context, vaginal massage is sometimes referred to as pelvic floor massage (PFM). PFM often serves as a remedy for myofascial pelvic pain, pelvic floor dysfunction, vulvodynia, or incontinence.
- Vaginal massage positively contributes to your overall health and emotional well-being, with the potential to deliver an improved sex life.
It’s now 2026, and women can talk more openly and explore their sexuality much more easily; magazines abound with information on better orgasms or sexual techniques.
If a man feels sexually frustrated, he can masturbate, and his hand becomes an adequate replacement vagina. But for a female, clitoral stimulation – although very pleasurable – can not recreate the primal sensation of vaginal penetration. Even with the use of a vibrator, the feeling of being desired and taken, a fundamental, primal desire of the female, cannot be replicated.
Video interview with Rebecca Dakin – The Great British Sexpert
Rebecca visits Colin for her own Absolute Massage treatment, and here is her video discussing her experience
To listen and watch Colin as he discusses and answers questions about his treatments Click here
Cosmopolitan Podcasts
Listen to Cee Cee & Colin talk to journalist Paisley Gilmore of Cosmo about the Absolute sensual massage for women
Cee Cee took a series of sensual massage treatments with Colin, listen to this podcast with Paisley Gilmore, Cosmopolitan’s Sex & Relationship journalist, as she explains how it has transformed her sexual confidence and sense of well-being.
Apple
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/cosmopolitans-all-the-way-with/id1495335705 ,
Spotify
https://open.spotify.com/show/7sNMqLvplqIdMSk6riGd2Y
Colin talks to Cosmopolitan about the Absolute Massage and why women come to see him
Women’s Treatments Available
Click on the respective links below to read the full list of treatments and prices of erotic massage for women and couples.
Bookings or Enquiries
To book an appointment with Colin: Click Here
WhatsApp – 07966522696
Or you can call or text Colin on 0044 (0)7966 522696
Location
Colin sees most of his clients at his treatment venue in Sloane Square, Chelsea Click here
INSURANCE DISCLAIMER
Colin Richards and Intimacy Matters has current Civil Liability Insurance (including Public/Products Liability and Professional Indemnity) that covers both counselling services and therapeutic massage. Colin Richards and Intimacy matter DOES NOT have this insurance to cover any sensual or arousing bodywork since to date this is not available. Clients taking a sensual massage, a Psychosensual massage or any form of sensual treatment that involves nudity, arousal, and erotic stimulation do so at their own risk and will be asked to sign a waiver before taking the treatment.
