What is a Somatic Sex Engineer

and what is

Sensual Massage

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Who is Colin Richards?

I am a somatic sex educator and general problem solver in sexuality and relationships. Fundamentally, I aim to help people transform their sex lives and relationships by combining my knowledge of sexual psychology with my experience as a sensual masseur. Sexual frustrations, lack of experience, lack of intimacy, sexual performance challenges, fear of sex or even boredom and low libido are all aspects I work with, replacing them with new experiences, insights and techniques in lovemaking and sexual fulfilment. Working full-time in this field since 2005, I have discovered and used various approaches that are not generally covered by conventional methods to help people in this intimate part of their life

My approach could be humanistic in that I look at the biological, psychological, social, anthropological and sexual influences behind our sensual desires, curiosities and fears. I work with men, women and couples of all sexual orientations. As well as giving sensual massage treatments, I created the Psychosensual Treatment, a combined psychological and physiological therapy that helps people with deeper sexual issues. To help people enhance their sexual confidence and sexual foreplay skills I regularly run individual tuition classes and group workshops. I also give public talks and run social events.

What is a Somatic Sex Engineer?

For some time, I searched for a title encompassing my experience and approach to helping people with their intimacy needs and sexuality. The word therapist felt too remedial, and that I would only see people who had something wrong with them sexually.

Somatic – Soma comes from a word meaning “body” in Greek, so somatic means “of the body” and is most often used in connection with one’s health and well being

 I believe that a person’s sexuality is a cornerstone of what makes them who they are.  If that cornerstone is not sitting comfortably, the whole self can feel unstable. So whether a person has a direct issue to overcome, or wants to know more about their sexual potential, or help with a sexual incompatibility within a relationship, then I can help. 

When I work with a person’s sexuality, I take into account all aspects of the human sexual dynamic. The biological, psychological, social, anthropological, emotional and reproductive drivers that make us the sexual beings we are.  Sometimes, these drivers can be out of balance or not working well at all, which can cause frustrations and conflict, sometimes leading to ill health, both in body and mind. 

What is Sensual Massage?

A simple, maybe slightly simplistic, analogy explaining the difference between sensual massage, tantric massage  as opposed to tantra in general), Nuru massage and other forms of sensual bodywork, etc., …. Think of it like food, intimacy and touch. People like to experience/ consume healthy, indulgent, and adventurous food in different flavours and styles. Each is according to their preference, diet, needs, and desires. Prefer one or enjoy them all. People usually find what suits them best when they want it, which can also change according to situation and circumstances.

Sensual Massage is the ultimate massage experience.

When you take a sensual massage, you will experience a combination of traditional therapeutic massage techniques blended with sensual, intimate strokes to create the ultimate massage experience.

Think of it as a seduction of both the body and mind. Light touch merges into firm muscle work that subtly transcends into intimate erotic arousal.

Colin’s style of sensual massage is given on a humanistic approach; he draws on his 20 years as a professional masseur and his knowledge of sexual psychology, physiology, and the natural human primal sexual processes to create a tailored experience for each person.

In addition to being pleasurable, this produces immediate physical and emotional benefits. It can also be a great way to explore and understand one’s sensual and sexual processes within a non-judgemental, confidential environment.

Depending on the masseur and the receiver’s requirements, the message can remain light on the arousing touch or become more intense and erotic. It is not essential, but the massage usually incorporates orgasm.

Tantric massage, on the other hand,  usually avoids orgasm and incorporates elements of spiritual ceremony.

Is a sensual massage similar to tantric massage?

Yes, it is similar to tantric massage in that it is intentionally arousing. However, it is given with a more humanistic approach that does not include any ceremony or ritual but focuses on the natural process of body arousal, combined with the therapeutic benefits of regular massage. It gradually develops from a traditional massage to a sensual, arousing touch, building to erotic stimulation and a potential orgasmic crescendo.

Learn more about the difference between tantric massage and sensual massage.

Is a sensual massage erotic? Is it sexual?

Yes, a sensual massage is erotic because it uses erotic arousal to relax and enhance the pleasure of letting go. The massagecan be regarded as sexual in the sense that the intention is to incorporate orgasm into the experience. Although the treatment is designed to simulate the whole sexual arousal process, it replicates what pioneering sex researchers Willaim Masters and Virginia Johnson categorised as The Excitement Phase, the Plateau Phase, the Orgasmic Phase, and the Resolution Phase. The massage is given as an intimate treatment rather than a sexual encounter.

Is it a proper massage?

An authentic sensual masseur should also have proper training in therapeutic and maybe sports massage. It is always best to check.

Will it be good for me?

Undoubtedly, read the health and well-being benefits below. For people with sexual performance challenges, I have also developed Psychosensual treatment.

Sexual performance and fulfilment.

For people who want help with sexual fulfilment and performance, the sensual massage can form part of a 3 hour The Psychosensual Treatment , which incorporates counselling with a sensual massage within the process and is designed to help challenges such as anorgasmia, erectile issues, sexual inexperience, loss of libido, premature ejaculation, fear of sex, lack of sexual experience, etc.

What are the health benefits of taking a sensual massage?

When we are touched, particularly when receiving sensual, arousing touch, remarkable things happen to our bodies. Doctors and scientific researchers are increasingly discovering the extraordinary effectiveness of health and well-being that regular sexual arousal produces. Here are some facts.

It’s a natural pain reliever: 

Sex causes increased production of oxytocin. Touch and intimate stimulation trigger the body to produce oxytocin. This so-called ‘ love hormone’, released from the pituitary gland, surges and is accompanied by the release of endorphins, our natural pain-killing hormones. Oxytocin helps us form strong emotional bonds and reduce pain. Oxytocin increases the tolerance of pain threshold in women significantly.

It’s a stress reliever:

Endorphins are natural mood boosters and stress relievers. Sex boosts self-esteem and increases intimacy between partners. Semen contains mood-altering hormones that can reduce depression and elevate mood.

It boosts immunity:

Endorphins stimulate immune system cells that fight disease. Immunoglobulin A in individuals who have regular sex. It helps to protect us from infections.

It’s good for your heart: 

Erotic arousal and orgasm, depending on your level of enthusiasm, can be considered aerobic exercise – burning up to 200 calories per session. When we are aroused, we produce higher levels of estrogen, which protects against heart disease. The hormones released during arousal cause an increase in blood pressure and heart rate.

Why do we love to be touched?

Receiving intimate sensual touch is one of the most pleasant sensations people can experience. The sense of touch is a vital part of the human condition and is arguably one of our earliest forms of communication. It is accepted that our physiology and neurology are specifically designed to facilitate it, and when a person is touched, it also profoundly affects our psychology. A slap given with aggression can hurt and indicate anger, causing us to feel fear or anger in return. A firm hand on the shoulder or back will give us a feeling of friendship or support. Intimate, caring touch, particularly when combined with stimulating arousal, can create a sense of trust and closeness. This factor is essential in bonding human relationships and, thus, the continuation of the species.

In the beginning

From our earliest Homo Sapiens ancestors, who lived 250,000 years ago, to probably as recent as 5000 years ago, tactile, intimate touch between humans would almost certainly have been offered and received unconditionally. It would be given without cultural, religious or social controls and probably not seen solely as sexual communication but as a system to establish mixed and same-sex cooperation. It would have stimulated group security and collaboration, ensuring – in times of danger and stress – the support between one human and another. It would have helped determine hierarchy, established trusting relationships and promoted teamwork and loving bonds.

Not much has changed in our biology since those early times, and for most of us, the pleasure and desire to be touched by another is still very much within us. When we are touched, the skin receptors pass the response information to the central nervous system, which influences the autonomic nervous system. The autonomic nervous system connects to the most profound and most ancient part of our brain, the Stem or Reptilian brain. This old part of the brain can be traced back to over 200 million years of mammal evolution. It concerns our basic needs: survival, physical maintenance, hoarding, dominance, preening and mating. These basic urges activate the emotions of love, hate, fear, lust, and contentment.

In early man, the distinction of whether intimate behaviour was appropriate or inappropriate would not have existed; there would have been no social, cultural or religious rules controlling our natural desires and need for intimate touch. Our behaviour would be instinctual:

  • When hungry, we looked for food.
  • When under threat, we fought or ran.
  • When we needed a sense of belonging, we would seek intimacy from other humans.

There is no greater affirmation of an individual’s acceptance than to touch and be touched intimately, to care and be cared for, without condition, expectation or obligation.

Sensual massage is an ancient natural medicine for today’s stressful times.

By providing a person with a non-judgmental, honest, open environment where it is not only OK to feel arousal but appropriate, the sensual massage is probably one of the most fulfilling experiences a person can have, enabling both the body and mind to relax in a way that regular massage does not. The mind regains calm by reducing tension and stress or anxiety in the body. As the body becomes more sensually aroused, the sensory messages transmitted from the skin and erogenous areas reaffirm to the mind that we are safe. Hormones such as oxytocin, progesterone and testosterone are released, causing our muscles to relax; the mind becomes still, and we can exist in the ‘moment’ for a few hours.

Who can benefit from having a sensual massage?

Everyone, of course, but since we are all individuals with unique life experiences and lifestyles, the benefits can vary from person to person. For many, the massage can be a glorious discovery of escapism; for others, it can be a place to release the tension of a hectic life; for some, it can be about the exploration of the self, one’s sensuality and sexuality. It can also benefit those experiencing sexual anxieties and performance issues.

In men, it can mainly be about male-to-male bonding, or it can help overcome erectile issues, premature ejaculation, sexuality exploration, loss of libido or fear of intimacy. For women, the massage can be an opportunity to have their body physically stimulated and pleasured without feeling self-conscious, judged or expected to perform in a particular way sexually. For couples, it is a beautiful way to reignite the sexual spark by learning new skills to practise on one another. The treatment can be given as a gift by one partner to the other to let them experience another person’s touch without threatening the relationship.

For whoever is receiving the massage, it can be an experience that is both profound and revolutionary. We live in a time when there is so much control, and much is expected of us. We return to our primal instincts and desires by having a sensual massage.

Sensual massage is ultimately about caring for oneself through another person’s energy and physical skills. Arousal and stimulation is an inevitable part of the massage, but orgasm is optional; it can also be an essential part of the process since, following the orgasm, feelings of relaxation and well-being can be even more profound.

How can I identify a good sensual massage therapist?

The therapist should be professional in style and approach, acting with integrity and thus inspiring trust in the client. The treatment area should be warm, clean, comfortable and welcoming. The therapist should take the time to explain the massage process and answer any questions the client may have. The massage should include therapeutic massage of the whole body and intimate, sensual, arousing massage of the erogenous and genital areas. The massage should be caring and meaningful, with the therapist inspiring a sense of genuine ‘love’ for what they do and for whom they do it for. The therapist should be able to work intuitively, understanding the client’s specific needs while making their physical boundaries clear.

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Where can I get the best sensual massage in the UK? 

I am probably that person if you seek a very experienced professional sensual masseur. I take my profession very seriously and, for 18 years, have been committed to changing attitudes towards sex and sexual arousal. Once asked if I regard myself as a sex worker, I replied, yes, I do. I work, and I work with sex. However, I went on to qualify that one could also regard a celebrity chef like Jamie Oliver or Gordon Ramsey as a food worker. I see myself at that end of the sex worker spectrum, and like food, sex is also one of the fundamental pillars of humanity, even life itself. So why can we not relate to sensual intimacy, sex, and sexual exploration like we have evolved the food world? Of course, there is Big Mac sex out there, and sometimes that can be very satisfying. Still, there can also be 5-star sex where the whole ambience is part of the experience, and effort and interest have been put into the occasion to create the best experience possible. Like Jamie and Gorden, I enjoy making every dish (treatment) I give.

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Frequently Asked Questions

You will have many questions before deciding which massage you want to book. Please click this link to read the answers to most of my questions. If I do not answer your particular question, please do not hesitate to email me.

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TERMS & CONDITIONS & INSURANCE 

Colin Richards and Intimacy Matters has current Civil Liability Insurance (including Public/Products Liability and Professional Indemnity) covering counselling services and therapeutic massage.  Clients taking a sensual massage, a psychosenual massage or any form of sensual treatment or sensual massage classes that involves nudity, arousal, and erotic stimulation do so at their own risk. They will be asked to sign a waiver before taking the treatment. To read the full terms & conditions and insurance coverage, Click here